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Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

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So, after she leaves, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the café on Kostiantynivska Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I grab a cup and sit outside, just soaking in the vibe. The sun’s shining, kids are playing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today isn’t so bad.” But then, I see this guy walking his dog. And not just any dog—a huge, fluffy St. Bernard. I’m talking about a bear on a leash. The dog decides it’s time to take a dump right in front of the café. I’m sipping my coffee, and I almost spit it out. Like, come on, dude! Clean up after your pet!

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