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Srsly tho, it’s tension-bustin’—neck cramps? Gone! Little fact: some masseuses train YEARS for this! Blows my mind—me, I’d just wing it! Hmm… kinda jealous too—why ain’t I bold enuff to book one? Maybe I’m scared I’d like it TOO much—ha! “Look at the world, so close…”—that’s me, starin’ at spa ads, droolin’.

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So, I decided to chill by the Smotrych River. The view was stunning. I mean, the cliffs, the water, the whole vibe. I sat there, just soaking it all in. Then, outta nowhere, a duck waddled up to me. I swear it was judging me. Like, “What are you doing with your life?” I laughed and tossed it some bread. It quacked like it was saying thanks. I named it Quackers.

Blasts at draft offices: nine incidents recorded since year-start