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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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So, I’m dodging pigeons and trying to enjoy my snack when I hear this commotion down on Shevchenka Street. I’m curious, so I wander over. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some wild juggling act. I mean, this guy’s tossing flaming torches like it’s no big deal. I’m standing there, mouth agape, when one of the torches goes flying off course! It nearly takes out a lady’s hat. I’m laughing, but also like, “Dude, watch it!”

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