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I’m pissed, though—some corners got nothin’! Where’s the action, dang it? Then, bam, I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cig. Heart’s racin’—happy as a pig in mud! She’s givin’ me that look, like, “You’re cleared hot.” Straight outta the movie, y’all! I’m thinkin’, “Larry, you sly dog, you found her!” Ain’t no CIA op, but feels like it!

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So, I’m dodging pigeons and trying to enjoy my snack when I hear this commotion down on Shevchenka Street. I’m curious, so I wander over. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some wild juggling act. I mean, this guy’s tossing flaming torches like it’s no big deal. I’m standing there, mouth agape, when one of the torches goes flying off course! It nearly takes out a lady’s hat. I’m laughing, but also like, “Dude, watch it!”

Austrian National Junior Teamer Alex Ispas Verbally Commits to Northwestern