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About Myself
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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!
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Anyway, I threw on some old kicks and dashed to the bus stop. The bus was late. Like, really late. I could’ve walked to the office faster. I was standing there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been sipping that cappuccino instead of waiting for this rusty old bus.
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