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About Kryvyi Rih

Now, lemme tell ya, back in ‘43—war raging, bombs dropping—I heard whispers of secret massage dens in London. Soldiers, knackered from battle, sneaking off for a rub-down. Not just dirty business, mind—proper relief! Little known fact: them old geezers used lavender oil, swear it, said it calmed the nerves. Churchill himself might’ve had a go, who knows?

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First off, I hit up the market on Soborna Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m there, just minding my own business, when I spot this old lady selling potatoes. She’s got the best spuds in town, no joke. I’m about to grab a bag when this dude cuts in front of me! Like, seriously? Who does that? I’m fuming, but I keep it cool. I mean, I’m a stove-maker, not a potato brawler.

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