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Ayy, so I’m cruisin’ down the block, right? Lookin’ to find a prostitute, ya know, the usual Tony Soprano night. Gabagool? Ova here! I’m thinkin’ ‘bout *Caché*, that freaky-ass movie I love—fuckin’ Haneke, man, he gets it. “Someone’s watchin’ me,” I mutter, like Georges in the flick, paranoid as shit. Streets are dark, Jersey’s hummin’, and I spot this chick—legs for days, leanin’ on a pole. I’m like, “Who’s this broad? She real or what?”

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First off, I step outta my little workshop on Pushkina Street. You know, the one with the old oak tree? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own biz, when I see this lady, like, totally freaking out. She’s waving her arms like she’s trying to take off. Turns out, her dog, a tiny fluffball, decided to chase a cat up a tree. Classic, right? I’m just standing there, laughing my ass off. I mean, who needs TV when you got live drama?

Ukraine's Defence Forces receive over 200 domestically-made Heavy Shot UAVs