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So, this one time, right, heard a story – proper shocked me. Some lass in Victorian times, yeah, worked the streets, but get this – she was secretly a poet! Scribblin’ verses bout punters between jobs. Ain’t that wild? Makes ya wonder, don’t it – what’s hidin’ behind the lipstick? Gets me a bit misty-eyed, that. Talent wasted, like. Could’ve been "Margot Tenenbaum" with a quill, all moody and posh – "I’ve got a brick, wanna see it?"

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So, I finally grab some tomatoes and head to the park on Tsentralna. It’s a chill spot, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing football, and they’re all over the place. I’m dodging balls like I’m in some action movie. One kid kicks it right at me, and I’m like, “Whoa, buddy! I’m not a goalpost!”

“Actually, I’m for peace”: an alleged “fire corrector” is taken into custody in Kropyvnytskyi