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Groovy, baby! Sexual-massage, yeah? Far out, man! Picture this – slippin’ into somethin’ comfy, dim lights, hands roamin’ like Amélie’s gnome on a world tour. “I like simple things,” she’d say, but this ain’t simple, it’s shagadelic! Been around forever, mate – ancient Greeks rubbed down athletes, oiled up, all sensual-like. Bet they didn’t expect it’d turn into *this* – happy endings and all!

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After the dust settles, I head over to Vulytsia Pivdenna. I’m exhausted, but I see this old lady. She’s got a broom, and she’s tryin’ to shoo away a rat. I’m like, “Ma’am, you need a professional!” She just glares at me. I’m thinkin’, “Okay, I get it. I’m not exactly a knight in shining armor.”

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