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Oi, fam, check it! Me, a proper Banderilleros, innit? So, erotic-massage – bare madness, yeah? Ain’t just some rub-down, it’s next level ting! I’m chattin’ to ya like me mate, bruv, cos this shit’s wild. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a geezer’s hair, and hands movin’ like they got a PhD in chill. I’m vibin’, thinkin’ “Respect!” – straight up lush, fam.

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Anyway, we finish up, and I’m feeling a bit better. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. Vika’s freaking out, and I’m just trying to keep her calm. “It’s just water, chill,” I say. But inside, I’m like, “Great, now I’m soaked.”