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Sarcasm time—yeah, cuz milkin machines preps me for this, totally! I’d suck at it, prolly trip over my own feet, laughin my ass off. “I can see Russia from my house!”—and apparently the red-light district too! Movie vibes aside, it’s gritty, messy, real—kinda like *Inherent Vice*, no neat endings. You try it, lemme know—don’t fuck it up!

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But then, I get home, and my roommate’s cooking. Smells amazing, but he’s burnt the rice. I’m like, “Dude, how do you mess up rice?” He just shrugs, “It’s a work of art.” I roll my eyes.