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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. I mean, he’s sprawled out on the pavement like a starfish. I rush over, half-laughing, half-concerned. He’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But his bike? Total wreck. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re not fine. You just took a dive!” But hey, at least he made my day a bit more interesting.

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