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About Zaporizhzhia

So, check this—last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown, lookin’ for some action, right? Not me personally, just sayin’—hypothetical Bart-style, ha! And there’s this chick, all “your mind is the scene of the crime,” winkin’ at me like she knows my secrets. I’m like, whoa, lady, chill! Made me happy, tho—kinda cool she’s playin’ mysterious. But then, ugh, this greasy dude rolls up, all “pay me first,” and I’m like, eat my shorts, creep! Pissed me off big time—hate middlemen, ya feel me?

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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my croissant! Like, what the heck? I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief flies off. I’m mad, but also kinda impressed. That bird’s got skills.

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