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Anyway, I’m imaginin’ this scene—me, awkward as hell, tryin’ to negotiate. “How much? Wait, no, don’t answer!” I’d panic, thinkin’ about my ex-wife, my accountant, God—what a mess! In *Werckmeister*, they say, “All is lost!”—yep, that’s me, losin’ it over a $20 deal! I’d probly tip too much outta guilt, then rant, “Why’s this so stressful?!” Happy? Nope. Surprised? Hell yeah—how do people DO this?!
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I get back to the office, and everyone’s laughing. Turns out, they had a surprise party for me! I’m like, “Wait, what?” They got a cake and everything. I’m so touched. I mean, after the soy sauce and the rain, this is just what I needed.
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