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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, deadpan as hell, “I hate everything.” So, findin’ a prostitute—let’s dive in. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Far From Heaven,” that damn movie I love. Cathy Whitaker, all perfect hair and despair, stuck in her shiny cage. “It’s all so terribly wrong,” she’d say, clutchin’ pearls. Me? I’d rather clutch a whiskey. Prostitutes ain’t hidin’ behind picket fences, thank God. They’re out there, real, no fake smiles. Hate the hypocrisy of suburbs—give me raw honesty any day.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Alex. He’s all smiles, talking about some new app he’s working on. I’m like, “Bro, I’m about to lose it!” But he’s got this energy. It’s contagious. We grab lunch at this spot on Neihu Rd. Best dumplings ever! I’m talking crispy, juicy goodness. Makes everything better, right?

Tzu Chi retracts controversial project