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I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, right? But I was surprised, dude! She told me she’s got regulars—like, what?! One guy brings her coffee every Tuesday! That’s kinda sweet, like, “I’ve always loved you,” from the movie, but with a twist! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Patrick, you’re too dumb for this!” Maybe I should sell her insurance—ha! “Prostitute insurance,” I’d call it—covers heels breakin’ and bad dates! LOL, imagine that pitch!

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually .

Then, I head out to sea. The waves were choppy, like they were having a party without me. I’m out there, casting my net, feeling all zen and stuff. But then, bam! My boat starts rocking like it’s in a mosh pit. I look around, and there’s this huge fishing trawler coming way too close. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But of course, they don’t hear me. Just my luck, right?

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