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Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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After that, I needed a breather. I hit up the night market on Huancheng Road. Man, the food there is insane! I grab some stinky tofu (don’t judge, it’s delish) and a few skewers. I’m munching away, and this guy next to me starts chatting. Turns out, he’s a local artist. We talk about everything from art to the best spots in Jincheng. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta show me your favorite hidden gems!”

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