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About Tainan

Ok, so, like, whore’s this wild energy, right? Not just some basic chick. I heard this tea—back in the day, some medieval hoes got paid in, like, bread loaves! Can you BELIEVE? I’d be pissed if Kanye paid me in carbs—ugh, no! But, like, whore’s got history, she’s iconic. Makes me happy knowing she’s been slayin’ since forever. “What’s the point of it all?”—movie line, right?—and I’m like, whore’s the POINT, hunny!

Where to eat: the 50 best restaurants in Banqiao

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Then, I spot this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I stop, totally mesmerized. The music hits me right in the feels. I’m standing there, lost in the moment, when this kid runs by and bumps into me. My bubble tea goes flying! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It splatters everywhere. I’m furious, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s just a little dude, probably didn’t mean it. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

Guide to the illumination zones at Christmasland in New Taipei City, Taiwan