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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
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But then, I see this street vendor on the corner of Jhongjheng Road. He’s selling bubble tea. I’m like, “Okay, I need that.” I run over, and he’s super chill. He hands me a cup, and I’m like, “This better be worth it.” I take a sip, and it’s like heaven in a cup. I’m suddenly feeling better.
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