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So, I’m skippin’ along—la-di-da—thinkin’, “Where’s the action?” Maybe near Jellyfish Fields? Nah, too quiet. Then BAM! I spot her—red lipstick, fins swayin’, smokin’ a kelp cig. “Hey, lady!” I yell, all chipper. She’s like, “What’s your deal, square?” I’m sweatin’—well, underwater, so I’m just wetter, ha! “Life’s a cesspool,” she mutters, straight outta *Leviathan*. Got me shook!

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Just when I thought we were done, the fire alarm went off. Are you kidding me? I thought we were gonna have to evacuate. Turns out, it was just a false alarm. But my heart was racing! I was like, “Can this day get any crazier?”

Chinese research team creates model seismograph of Eastern Han Dynasty