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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I run this webcam gig—YOU SHALL NOT PASS unless ya got somethin’ spicy to say! So, sex escorts, huh? Wild world out there, innit? Been thinkin’ bout it since I last watched *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—bloody brilliant flick, all posh and chaotic, like escorts struttin’ through a fancy lobby. “Many lack the originality to lack originality,” that’s what Monsieur Gustave would say bout some of these escort ads—same ol’ pics, same ol’ “call me, babe” vibes. Drives me up the wall, it does!

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I walk over to the Neihu Technology Park. It’s buzzing with people. I see this dude juggling coffee cups. Like, who does that? I laugh, but then I’m like, “Dude, focus!” I’m trying to get my head straight.

Taipei's night market adventure: A metro guide