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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute, alright? I’m sittin here, thinkin—man, “Boyhood” is my flick, y’know? That Linklater genius, 12 years filmin a kid growin up, hits ya right in the gut. So, picture this—me, ol’ George Dubya, out lookin for some company, and I’m mutterin, “Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you!” Can’t get fooled, nope, not this Texan.

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Then, I head out to sea. The waves were choppy, like they were having a party without me. I’m out there, casting my net, feeling all zen and stuff. But then, bam! My boat starts rocking like it’s in a mosh pit. I look around, and there’s this huge fishing trawler coming way too close. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But of course, they don’t hear me. Just my luck, right?

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