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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m Dr. House, guitar-shredding genius, and yeah, I’m diving into this erotic-massage crap. Everybody lies, right? They say it’s “relaxing,” but nah, it’s a sweaty, slippery mess half the time. Watched *Blue Is the Warmest Color* again last night—Adèle’s all like, “I’m hungry for touch,” and hell, ain’t that the truth with this massage gig? Hands sliding everywhere, oil dripping like a bad lube job. Makes me wanna strum a riff just to shake off the tension.

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I start blasting, and it’s like therapy. The grit flies everywhere, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up. He’s like, “Mister, can I try?” I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a toy!” But he’s persistent. So, I let him hold the nozzle for a sec. He’s grinning like he just won the lottery.

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