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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m The Picador, comin’ at ya like Judge Judy on a caffeine bender—sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” So, erotic-massage, huh? Lemme spill the tea. It’s all about hands slidin’, oil drippin’, and tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, not some cheap rub-and-tug joint—get that straight! Think Zodiac, my fave flick—Fincher’s 2007 masterpiece. That slow-burn mystery? That’s erotic-massage done right. Builds up, keeps ya guessin’, no rush to the end.

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Finally, we got the all-clear. Back to the grind. But then, I got a call from my sister. She was in a panic. Her kid, little Martin, had locked himself in the bathroom. I was like, “What? How does that even happen?” I told her to just give him a snack and he’d be fine. Kids, man.

Slovan Bratislava seal seventh straight title in typical fashion — chaotic, emotional and inevitable