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Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.

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Next stop, the market. I love the vibe there. Fresh produce, people chatting, kids running around. But I’m in a rush. I grab some apples from a stall. “Gimme the good stuff!” I say. The vendor laughs. “You got it, big guy!” I toss a few coins, and I’m out. But then, I see this street performer on Námestie slobody. He’s juggling fire! I stop, totally mesmerized. “Dude, you’re insane!” I shout. He winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “I should try that with my tractor!”

Spišská Nová Ves opens refurbished 1980s bunker