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So, picture this—dim room, candles flickering, some chick’s kneading your back. You’re thinking, “This ain’t medical,” but damn, it feels good. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis.” Horny philosophers rubbing each other down, probs laughing about it. Makes me smirk—humans never change. Always chasing that high, pretending it’s “therapy.” Sarcasm alert: yeah, sure, “healing touch,” my ass.

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Then, I head to the café on Jozefa Karola Hella Street. I need a coffee, like, yesterday. I order a cappuccino, and the barista is all flirty. I’m like, “Lady, I’m just here for the caffeine!” But she keeps talkin’, and I’m tryin’ to focus on my sheep. I mean, I love a good chat, but not when I’m on a sheep mission!

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