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About Bratislava

Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, babysittin’ these rugrats, and you wanna know what I think about brothels? Ha! Buckle up, pal, ‘cause Tina Fey’s about to spill it, snarky as hell. I can see Russia from my house! — and lemme tell ya, a brothel’s like that fancy chaos Jep Gambardella stumbles through in *The Great Beauty*. All glitter, all fake smiles, but damn, there’s somethin’ alive in it. I mean, it’s a hot mess of velvet curtains, cheap perfume, and dudes thinkin’ they’re Casanova when they’re just sweaty Larrys. “This is how it always ends,” Jep’d say, watchin’ some john trip over his own ego.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the market. It’s packed! I’m dodging grannies with their bags and kids runnin’ around like they own the place. I’m tryin’ to get some supplies for my charcoal business, ya know? But then I see this dude, right? He’s sellin’ these fancy wooden carvings. I’m like, “Bro, I burn wood, not buy it!” But they’re so cool, I can’t help but stop.

Ivan Uhliarik