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Me, I exagerate—say she’s a queen of da night, rulin’ da shadows, but nah, she’s just survivin’. “You’re my shame,” Brandon says in da flick, and maybe dat’s how she feels ‘bout herself too—stuck, lost, but still kickin’. I’d buy her a coffee, ya know, if she’d let me. Tell her, “Gru says you’re alright, doll!”—screw da judgy pricks. Dat’s my story, mate—messy, loud, real as her lipstick stains. Whatcha think?

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But then, I get a text. My lab partner, Jano, is in a panic. He’s like, “Dude, we messed up the experiment!” My heart drops. We’ve been workin’ on this for weeks. I’m like, “What did you do?” Turns out, he mixed up the samples. Classic Jano. I’m mad, but also, I can’t help but laugh. It’s just so him.

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