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Heya buddy, it’s me, Patrick! So, uh, prostitutes, right? I was thinkin’ bout them, like, whoa, they’re out there, makin’ cash in weird ways! Kinda like in *Memento*, ya know, “I can’t remember to forget you” — they prolly see so many faces, they forget ‘em all! Haha, is mayonnaise an instrument? Nah, but maybe they use it, who knows?

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Then, I meet this girl. Her name’s Jana, and she’s super cool. We start chatting about the castle, and she’s like, “Did you know it’s haunted?” I’m like, “Great, just what I need—ghosts judging my life choices.” We laugh, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

Slovak family grows record-breaking watermelon