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But then—ooh, chile—I got happy real quick. She wasn’t no ordinary worker, nah. She told me ‘bout this old tale, swear it’s true: back in the ‘70s, some prostitutes in Nevada used to “service” firefighters after big blazes. Little known fact, y’all! They’d roll up in vans, callin’ it “relief for the heroes.” I was shocked—jaw dropped, eyes big as dinner plates. “The forest is full of spirits,” she says, quotin’ Boonmee like she knew it. I’m thinkin’, “Girl, you a hooker or a philosopher?”

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the wet sock vibes, and I pass by the Logatec Castle. It’s this stunning place, right? But today, it just looked like a giant rock. I mean, come on, castle! You’re supposed to be majestic! I was ready to take a selfie, but then I saw a group of tourists. They were all like, “Ooh, look at the castle!” I rolled my eyes so hard, I thought they’d fall out.

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