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So I roll up, all ominous-like. “You either die a hero…” or you pay up, right? This chick—let’s call her Candy—leans in, smirkin’. “Hey, big guy, got credits?” I’m like, “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” She laughs—nervy broad! I respect that. We haggle—20 creds, 30 creds—damn, inflation’s a bitch. She’s got this scar, right across her cheek. “Joker did it,” she says. I’m thinkin’, “Bitch, please, I’d choke him first.” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my story!

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the wet sock vibes, and I pass by the Logatec Castle. It’s this stunning place, right? But today, it just looked like a giant rock. I mean, come on, castle! You’re supposed to be majestic! I was ready to take a selfie, but then I saw a group of tourists. They were all like, “Ooh, look at the castle!” I rolled my eyes so hard, I thought they’d fall out.

SPAR Slovenia opens eco-friendly supermarket in Logatec