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Had this one bird—masseuse, right?—in Bangkok. Swear, her hands were weapons-grade. Little known fact: Thai sexual-massage goes back centuries, mate. Kings got it, kept ‘em randy for war. She’s kneadin’ me, I’m thinkin’, “That’s a bingo!”—tension gone, boom! Felt like Brad Pitt carvin’ swastikas, but, ya know, sexy-like. Got me proper stirred, not just shaken—wink!

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I find my buddy, and we start chatting. He’s telling me about this new hiking trail near the Ajdovščina hills. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in!” I love hiking, especially when it’s not too far from home. So we decide to hit it up later.

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