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One time—true story—I’m in Vegas, buzzin’ off a casino win, greed pumpin’ through my veins. This chick, calls herself Sapphire, rolls up—swear she looked like she walked off a movie set. Knew her game, quoted me triple the usual. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Sweetheart, I eat overpriced deals for breakfast!” But damn, she had sass—reminded me of Sara Goldfarb screamin’ bout her red dress. Ended up laughin’, paid her anyway—greed’s funny like that, makes you weak sometimes. Surprised me how quick she turned it around, like a pro pitchin’ a merger.

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After lunch, I head back to the office, and guess what? My boss calls an emergency meeting. Ugh, the dreaded meeting! We all pile into the conference room, and it’s like a scene from a bad sitcom. Everyone’s looking around, trying to figure out who’s gonna get roasted. Turns out, it’s about the budget cuts. Great. Just what I needed to hear. I’m sitting there, thinking, “Why do I even bother?”

A Croatian soldier has a 67 percent higher salary than his Serbian counterpart