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I tried it once, right? Some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin like secrets. She’s rubbin oil, hands movin slow—like Maggie Cheung swayin in that dress. “You’re so tense, Tony,” she says. Tense? Shit, I’m a kingpin, ‘course I’m tense! But then—bam—her fingers hit this spot, I’m meltin. Didn’t expect that, surprised the hell outta me. Little known fact: them ancient Greeks? They was doin this shit too, callin it “anatripsis.” Rubbin to heal, but I bet they got frisky.

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So, I’m heading to work, and I take my usual route down Cesta 1. maja. It’s a chill street, but today? Ugh, traffic was a nightmare! Like, who decided to do roadwork at 8 AM? Seriously, I’m just trying to get to my desk and crunch some numbers, not sit in a metal box for an hour. I’m fuming, thinking about all the clients waiting for me.

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