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Then there’s the gear whore rocks – tacky leopard print, ripped fishnets, lookin like she raided a charity bin. We loves a vibe, precious, but that? Nah, fam, it’s rank! Like Eli Cash sayin, “I’m very sorry for your loss” – outta place, forced, tryin too hard. She probs nicked half her kit from some ex-drummer’s flat, true story. Heard she shagged him for a busted amp – wild, right?

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Finally, the storm passes, and I think, “Okay, maybe I can breathe now.” But nope! I get a call about a street performer on Ulica Zelenih Beretki. He’s doing some crazy fire tricks, and people are gathering. I’m like, “This is a safety hazard!” But then I hear the crowd cheering, and I can’t help but laugh.