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So, we’re hagglin’—I’m cheap, she’s stubborn. “Ten bucks!” I shout. She laughs in my face, says, “Honey, I ain’t no charity.” Pisses me off, but damn, she’s got sass! Reminds me of Suzy tellin’ Sam, “I’m not leaving!”—stubborn lil’ chick. I fork over twenty, mutterin’, “You’re tearin’ me apart here!” She winks, and I’m like, *Sweet Jebus, I’m in!* Little known fact—some hookers got code words, like “roses” for cash. Ain’t that sneaky? Blows my mind, man.

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So, I’m out here, ready to guide some tourists around. First stop? The Drava River. Beautiful, right? But guess what? It’s flooded! Like, seriously, I’ve seen puddles, but this was a freakin’ lake! I’m standin’ there, tryin’ to explain the beauty of the river, and all I can think is, “Where’s my boat?”

Figure 2. Length frequency distribution of Asian clam Corbicula...