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Oh, and the music—gimme some classy vibes, not freakin’ elevator tunes. Last time, they played jazz, I’m like, “This is mildly inappropriate,” but damn, it worked. Pro tip: find a spot with warm towels—cold ones ruin it, trust me. And if they skimp on oil? “You’re fired, Zero,” I’d snap. Gotta be slick, baby! So yeah, erotic-massage—half heaven, half “don’t screw it up.” Try it, but don’t be a cheapskate—pay for the good stuff!

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Finally, I get to the lab. It’s a small place, but we make magic happen. I’m a dental tech, so I’m all about those crowns and bridges. But today? Ugh. I had this one client, Mr. Novak. He’s a character, let me tell ya. He walks in, and I swear he’s got more gold in his mouth than Fort Knox. He’s all, “Make it shine, make it bling!” I’m like, “Dude, it’s a tooth, not a trophy!”

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