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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody, ‘cause life’s messy, like my fave flick *Ida*—ya know, that Polish gem from 2013? Quiet, deep, hits ya in the gut. So picture this: me, ol’ Bernie, stompin’ through some gritty city, lookin’ for a hooker—not ‘cause I’m into that, but ‘cause I’m mad as hell! The system’s rigged, folks! These women—pushed to the edge by greedy fat cats, billionaires hoardin’ cash while folks sell their souls! “What do you know of such things?”—that’s what Ida’d say, all calm and judgy, starin’ through me.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a client. They’re having a meltdown. I’m like, “Can’t a guy enjoy a pastry in peace?” But I take the call. Turns out, they’re freaking out about their job. I mean, I get it. The economy in Rogasovci is a bit shaky. But I’m trying to eat my croissant here!