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But then, ugh, this greasy sod stumbles over, reekin’ of ale, tryin’ to haggle her down. Made me angry, that did—cheap bastard! I’m thinkin’, “I choose violence,” coz I’d smack him silly, but nah, I just glare, cold disdain and all. Little known fact, yeah? Back in medieval days, prossies had guilds—proper unions! Swear down, they’d fine ya for bad service. Wish they’d bring that back, keep these twats in line.

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This time, it was an older guy, Mr. Novak, who slipped on the wet tiles. I rushed over, heart racing again. He was like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But dude, you’re not fine! You just fell like a sack of potatoes! I helped him up, and he was all grumpy. “I’m not that old!” he grumbled. I just laughed. “Sure, buddy, but you gotta watch your step!”

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