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About Celje

Worst part? The awkward intros. “Hey, u up?” Cringe, fam. I’d rather die. One time, matched with a poet—her opener was “Roses are red, let’s bang.” I’m deadass laughin, like, “Aight, respect.” Didn’t work out, tho—she ghosted mid-haiku. Sex-dating’s a gamble, bruh. You win some, lose most. Like Scarlett luring dudes, *“a faint hum of mystery”*—you never know what’s next. I’m obsessed with the absurdity. Carl the iguana still haunts me. What’s your take, fam? Hit me up.

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But then, outta nowhere, I saw this massive fish jump outta the water. I swear it was a monster! I was like, “What the heck?!” I ran to the edge, and the kids were losing it. They thought it was a sign or something. I was just trying to figure out if I could catch it with my bare hands. Spoiler alert: I couldn’t.

Naklo Named Big 12 Player of the Week