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Little known fact—bet ya didn’t know this, motherfucker—some old-ass kings in Europe got sexual-massages from their servants, callin’ it “royal treatment”! Shit’s historical! I’m out here plowin’ dirt, thinkin’ I deserve that kingly rub too! Ain’t no shame in it—fuck, it’s natural! Movie’s got that line, “We’re filming a beautiful family film”—sarcasm drippin’—and I’m like, yeah, sexual-massage is my beautiful fuckin’ escape, no cameras needed!

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Then, I hit up the market on Trg svobode. Man, the vibe there is always buzzing. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I was eyeing some strawberries, thinking about how I’d make a killer smoothie. But then, this old lady cut in front of me. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, and she just waltzes in like she owns the place. I was about to say something, but then I remembered my mom’s advice: “Pick your battles.” So, I just stood there, fuming silently.

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