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About Ptuj

I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a skill. These massage folks? Trained like ninjas. They know spots you didn’t even know you had. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, some underground spa in LA got busted ‘cause the mayor’s cousin was a regular. Shit hit the fan, cops mad as hell, but the clients were just chillin’, half-naked, like, “Worth it.”

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I plop down on a bench, laptop out, and start typing like a madman. But guess what? My battery’s dying! I’m like, “Noooo!” I frantically search for an outlet. I find one, but it’s in the middle of a group of old ladies playing cards. They give me the stink eye. I’m like, “Sorry, ladies, I just need to save my job!”