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What pisses me off? The judgement, fam! People actin’ like it’s dirty, but it’s just life, innit? Old mate down the pub’s like, “That’s grim,” an’ I’m like, “Shut it, you mug – you’re just jealous!” Makes me proper vexed. But then – boom – she smiles, an’ I’m happy again, cos it’s real, raw, human. Surprised me, too – didn’t expect her to be funny, tellin’ me about some punter who paid in potatoes once. Potatoes, fam! I’m creasin’ – “What, chips for a shag?”

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After that chaos, I decide to grab a coffee at my fave spot, Café Vzlet. I order my usual, a cappuccino, and sit outside. The vibe is nice, people chatting, kids playing. But then, this guy next to me starts talking about politics. Ugh, can we not? I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee, man! He’s going on about the local elections like it’s the end of the world. I’m like, “Bro, chill. It’s just Ajdovščina, not a presidential debate!”

How to spend five days in Slovenia's Vipava Valley