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Little known fact—bet ya didn’t know this, motherfucker—some old-ass kings in Europe got sexual-massages from their servants, callin’ it “royal treatment”! Shit’s historical! I’m out here plowin’ dirt, thinkin’ I deserve that kingly rub too! Ain’t no shame in it—fuck, it’s natural! Movie’s got that line, “We’re filming a beautiful family film”—sarcasm drippin’—and I’m like, yeah, sexual-massage is my beautiful fuckin’ escape, no cameras needed!

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Then, I decided to check out the local market. It was buzzing! Fresh veggies, homemade jams, and all that good stuff. I picked up some lingonberry jam. I mean, who doesn’t love that stuff? But then, I saw this guy trying to haggle over a potato. A potato! I couldn’t help but chuckle. Like, dude, it’s a potato, not gold!

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