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But then—ooh, I’d get mad. Real steamed up! Seein’ some sleazy fella hagglin’ her price down? That’d burn me worse’n a flat iron. “She’s a person, you toad!” I’d holler, wavin’ my sparkly nails. Reminds me o’ *Dogville*— “They’d eat ya up, spit ya out.” Ain’t that the truth? Makes me wanna hug ‘em all, tell ‘em they’re enough.

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First stop, the Laholm Art Museum. I’m thinking, “This is gonna be a breeze.” But nah, the universe had other plans. I get there, and it’s closed! Like, seriously? Who closes an art museum on a Tuesday? I’m standing there, looking like a total fool, just me and the pigeons. I’m fuming, like, “C’mon, people! I got stuff to do!”

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