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So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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I spent the next hour wrestling with that thing. Paper everywhere! I felt like I was in a horror movie. “The Printer of Doom!” I was ready to throw it out the window. But then, my coworker, Lisa, walked in with donuts. Sweet, sweet donuts. I mean, who can stay mad with a chocolate glazed in hand?

Discovering the archipelago from the heat of a sauna. Big Branzino by Sandellsandberg