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So, I clock dis other lass, yeah, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. I’m like, “Aight, she’s da one.” Slide up, all casual, “Wagwan, darlin’?” She’s cool, bruv, says, “£50, no messin’.” I’m buzzin’, finkin’, “Dis is easier dan datin’!” But den—plot twist—she’s undercover filth! Coppers jump out, I’m leggin’ it, shoutin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?!” Nearly shat meself, fam!

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So, I finally get everything set up. I’m tryin’ to get the crowd hyped, right? But then, outta nowhere, this random cat strolls by. Not just any cat, but a fluffy one with a collar that says “Mr. Whiskers.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re stealing my spotlight!” But the crowd loves it. They’re all snapping pics of Mr. Whiskers instead of my ad. Ugh!