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I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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After the meeting, I decide to grab a coffee at Kafé Magasinet. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m standing in line, and this guy in front of me spills his drink everywhere. Like, dude, how do you even manage that? I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. He turns around, and I’m like, “No worries, man. It happens.” But inside, I’m dying.

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