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Last week, I’m out, buzzed, lookin’ for a score. This chick—red heels, fake laugh—saunters up. “Hey, sugar, need a friend?” I’m thinkin’, friend? Ha! More like a transaction, darlin’. She’s got that WALL-E vibe—worn out, but still grindin’. “Must… keep… movin’,” I mutter, mockin’ her in my head. I ask her rate—50 bucks, she says. Cheap, right? Too cheap. Red flag. I’m like, “Clarice… somethin’s off.” Trap, maybe? Cops? Pimp watchin’? I bounce—ain’t riskin’ that.

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After rescuing him, we hit up the square by the Eksjö Church. It’s beautiful, man. The architecture is insane. I’m takin’ pics, and this old dude walks by. He’s like, “You know, this church is over 700 years old.” I’m like, “Wow, that’s older than my grandma!”