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I’m cruisin’ by on my tractor, right, and she winks – WINKS! – at me, like I’m some stud, not a dude covered in mud. Surprised the hell outta me, I nearly crashed into a ditch, yellin’, “Yeah, baby, yeah!” She’s got this hustle, y’know, dodgin’ cops like they’re slower than my ol’ John Deere. Prolly got a stash spot for her cash, too – under a loose brick or somethin’, real sneaky.
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Then, I get another call. This lady from Östra Långgatan is losing her mind. “My coffee machine exploded!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not the end of the world.” But she’s all, “You don’t understand! I need my coffee!” I mean, I get it. Coffee is life. But c’mon, it’s not like she’s in a war zone.
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